Keeping Me Back from Being Myself


Have you ever had something hanging over your head but not realized just how much it was weighing on you until it wasn’t anymore? It amazes me that we often don’t see how much this weight impacts our daily life until we look back after the fact.

I experienced this after the fact moment of clarity last week when I completed a project one day, and woke up the next feeling like a new person. Everything, my muscles, my breathing, my posture, was relieved of a tension that I hadn’t identified as being out of the ordinary. I had told myself that the project – an initial draft of a two-hour presentation – was not a big deal, but apparently it was! Apparently it had been weighing on my mind and in my body so much that everyday tasks seemed annoying, I was quick to snap and slow to enjoy even the good things.

If one thing – a project, an email, a conversation – can affect the rest of our day-to-day life so significantly, it puts a lot into perspective. It makes me think that maybe, when a sales clerk is less than friendly or an email seems rude or a colleague isn’t being very collaborative, it’s this “thing” hanging over their head that is making them behave that way. Maybe it’s not personal.

I’ll never be able to control the way others allow that “thing” to affect their lives, but knowing now what it can do to me makes me want to keep an eye out for anything else that might be keeping me back from being myself.


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